Georgetown is famous for its Halloween weekend festivities. Upon looking out my bedroom window this past Saturday, I spotted a sea of witches, oversized cartoon costumes and exotic animals. Many charged towards one bar or another. However, the majority of students in the area opted out of a night on the town in order to attend their own slew of house parties. Yet, they donned costumes as extravagant as those waiting in the endless line outside the door of The Third Edition.

In the corner of one such party, a sexy kitten, decked out in a full leather bodysuit, flirted tirelessly with a large, dinosaur-head wearing male. In another, Mario (sans Luigi) bumped and grinded with a female ninja turtle. Eventually, these couples left the party and helped one another shed their silly costumes for the night.

In the heat of the moment, though, they forgot that the next morning their Halloween attire would be waiting for them in a messy pile on the floor, ready to add embarrassment to the already mortifying walk of shame.
Two weeks ago, a friend of mine sent me an article from The Fairfield Mirror about the walk of shame. The author, a seemingly brotastic dude sporting a Red Sox cap, claimed, “Her walk of shame is an induction into your hall of fame.” Honestly, I had to laugh at this statement; the kid had some balls. I’m sure he received countless emails ripping him apart for his chauvinistic comments.

But the article was also a hoot because it is true. The walk of shame, for females, is humiliating because they are forced to either walk home in heels with 18-hour old makeup smeared around their eyes, or in his clothes. Guys typically go out in clothes they would wear to class, so it’s tough to spot a male walk-of-shamer (and I doubt they’re about to put on her clothes to make the walk home less embarrassing).
Although the walk will inevitably be uncomfortable for any female Hoya, there are several ways to handle it with pride (or at least, the tiny shred you have left).

If walking home in your clothes from the night before, it is important to avoid eye contact with all those you encounter. Trying to brush off the fact that you are wearing a too-tight dress with 4-inch booties at 11a.m. the next morning by smiling at all those you pass is a terrible idea. There are too many future students touring campus on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Their parents, unaware of what awkward means, will mistake your “confident” smile as an invitation to give them directions and answer their child’s countless questions about Georgetown. Trust me, this actually happens.

So, if you’re not comfortable enough to ask your male friend for a pair of sweats for the walk home, you should leave as early as possible to avoid such a situation. Sure, you’ll have to pass all the Georgetown employees hopping off the GUTS buses, but it’s better than your fellow students, right? If you wake up later than you had hoped, simply run home. Seriously. If you power walk as fast as your heels will let you, maybe people won’t recognize you!

If walking home in his clothes, make sure you wear unlabeled gear. An oversized T-shirt is acceptable and will help you stay under the radar of the judgmental eyes of strangers. If you’re dressed in an XL Hoya [insert sports team name here] jersey however, you will most likely be the target of funny looks. If anyone calls you out on your attire, laugh it off and embrace it. Only you can make your walk of shame more embarrassing than it needs to be.

If you truly desire to avoid the walk of shame, make him come home with you. This is obviously the ideal situation for any college woman. Hooking up on your turf, rather than his, is optimal. You can avoid his teasing and snickering friends the next morning. You know your sheets have been cleaned in the past week; Lord knows the last time he threw his into the washing machine. And (sound the trumpet here), you avoid the walk of shame.

Next Halloween (or any other night for that matter), when you find yourself in a compromising position, think ahead. The heat of the night will fizzle as dawn rolls around, and that ninja turtle shell will be a rather gauche addition to your morning walk home. So, as you leave the party with your man, hand-in-hand, pull him in the direction of your place. If he refuses, claiming his house is hosting “late night,” try and follow the other listed advice. But, you better accept that you will be publicly inducting yourself into his Hall of Fame the next morning.

Colleen Leahey is a junior in the College. She can be reached at leahey@thehoya.com. Rounding The Bases appears every other Friday in The Guide.