Over the past couple of weeks, I have watched all 10 movies that are nominated for the Academy Award for Best Picture. Apparently voters in the Academy this year are required to rank the films from 1 to 10, as opposed to just voting for one. Yes, there are 10 nominees this year, not five. I don’t know why. I suppose I could just Google it, but then again so could you. In any case, here is how I would fill out my ballot, starting with the worst film and finishing with my no. 1 pick. Oh, and a pre-emptive article-long spoiler alert is in effect. If you haven’t seen one of these films and are pla

I gotta say, I was completely enameled with The Tooth Fairy. It was the molar opposite of what I expected. Brace yourself, folks, for a hilarious film. I laughed tartar than I have in years. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was constantly filling the audience with laughter, except during dramatic scenes, when I found myself at a floss for words. He was a great choice for the role, as no other actor could match him incisor in comedic talent. Johnson better be nominated for Crest actor, Oral B real disappointed. To tell you the tooth, it was so funny it should’ve been illegal; I almost had my

Editor’s Note: Hoya Staff Writer Jeremy Tramer, in collaboration with The Hoya’s Mexico City bureau and its Ancient Language Analysis Department, was able to prepare a highly accurate translation of a newly discovered stone etching that appears to be a continuation of the alleged Mayan prophecy that the world will end in 2012. Before now, only the first sentence that you will see below had been converted out of the Mayan language — and we have also rewritten that to more accurately reflect what the Mayans intended to tell us. Everything after that is being revealed to the world for the fir

I have to admit that I was planning on being outraged by A Christmas Carol. I assumed that Jim Carrey, the voice of Ebenezer Scrooge and the three ghosts, would hijack the film and turn it into an embarrassingly forgettable comedy. I had a devastating rant planned, complete with a military-grade arsenal of Fun with Dick and Jane jokes just begging to be deployed. Because Jim Carrey isn’t funny anymore. What was his last funny movie? Bruce Almighty, in 2003? No, that wasn’t funny at all. Seeing it made me realize that just because everyone else thinks Jim Carrey is fu

According to The Los Angeles Times, minutes after Steven Spielberg finished watching a DVD of Paranormal Activity in his home, his bedroom doors inexplicably locked from the inside, and he had to call a locksmith in order to get out. The next day, he returned the DVD to the studio that had given it to him, claiming it was “haunted.”

Due to a delayed GUTS bus, I arrived at the screening of Love Happens about five minutes before it started. Short story short, I had to sit in the front row. Which is just an absolute freak show. Case in point: A few minutes into the movie the guy on my left, I kid you not, pulls a bottle of KC Masterpiece barbecue sauce out of his bag and literally begins pouring it into his hand and slurping it up. Plain.